Everything’s Coming Up Tea Roses

Ah, Kevin! Come in! Sit down! Let me divine your future in the portents and omens of the leaves! To the adept eye, fate is written in the tea!

Unlike most fortune tellers, I use only the freshest, single-garden, organic tea. You get a better reading on the future that way, not to mention a smoother, purer flavor. Lipton just doesn’t speak to me, you know? That’s why you won’t find anything in my tent but Teatulia tea, sustainably grown at the foot of the Himalayas and on the banks of the Ganges River in Bangladesh. We’re talking serious “ancient secrets of the mystic East” stuff here.

So when I cast the Teatulia White leaves, I see a delicate, rich, peach-inflected tea experience in your future, perfect for summertime. Teatulia Green, on the other hand, presages a grassy, clean flavor, while Bengal Breakfast portends nutty, buttery mornings filled with one cup after another of this compulsively drinkable tea. From the golden-red haze of Teatulia Black emerges a bright, full, sweet, rich, impossibly fresh beverage, looming large over your tea future. Earl of Bengal is a lighter, more refreshing twist on Earl Grey – I foresee that it would be great hot or iced. And Neem Nectar? This is perhaps the most promising of all, with the addition of Neem leaves bringing a crisp, cleansing character to your tomorrow.

Frankly, it rules to be you right now. Some of the people in here, you wouldn’t believe the crap they’re about to go through. But for you, it’s full Teatulia ahead. Were there any non-tea-related omens in there? As a matter of fact, yeah. You should go ahead with that social-bookmarking Web project you’re thinking about starting up. It’ll be huge. But hey, not to freak you out, but, uh, don’t do any rock climbing for the next, say, six months, OK?

Teatulia White:

• Dry leaves: Gorgeous half-inch needles with a delicate soft white fuzz
• Aroma: Rich and subtle
• Color: Golden
• Flavor: Delicately rich with a hint of peach. Excellent choice for starting off a hot summer day or relaxing in the early evening. Also a perfect choice for those new to tea –the sweet, subtle flavor is a lovely introduction to the world of tea.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags

Teatulia Green:

• Dry leaves: Broken green leaves
• Aroma: Wood and perhaps some green bell pepper. Fresh, clean & grassy like fresh clean hay.
• Color: Green-gold with a pink hue
• Flavor: Medium body with a grassy, fresh, slightly vegetal flavor. Slightly astringent finish with a refreshing cooling quality. Perfect any time of day for green tea lovers.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags

Bengal Breakfast:

• Dry leaves: Large, mighty leaves that nearly burst out of the silken sachet when steeped
• Aroma: Nutty and buttery
• Color: Light golden brown
• Flavor: Smooth, medium body, with a mellow finish. Highly drinkable with a slight sweetness at the finish. A very familiar tea that can be easily enjoyed in large quantities.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags

Teatulia Black:

• Dry leaves: Small leaves with golden tips throughout. Faint apricot aroma.
• Aroma: Unbelievably fresh
• Color: Golden with a reddish hue
• Flavor: Bright, full body. Sweet, rich, absolutely refreshing. Slight nuttiness, slight smokiness. Tongue-coating, incorporating all of your taste buds with no bitterness. Perfectly balanced. Retains its identity with the addition of milk and sugar. Perfect any time at all.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags

Earl of Bengal:

• Dry leaves: Medium even leaves with a strong fragrance of the finest organic oil of bergamot
• Aroma: Mild citrus
• Color: Golden-red
• Flavor: While inspired by Earl Grey, Earl of Bengal has a delightful lightness and freshness to it. The bergamot citrus hits gently on the center of the palate and seamlessly melds into a satisfying maltiness. The hot tea makes a lovely comfort drink with milk or serve it over ice for a delightful summer beverage.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags

Neem Nectar:

• Dry leaves: Medium-sized leaves mixed with bright green broken Neem leaf.
• Aroma: Full nose with a tartness at the finish
• Color: Golden
• Flavor: Totally unique. Bright, full-bodied with a delightful crispness. Cleansing on the palate. Goes very well with savory food. Exquisite on ice.
• Tea bags made out of Soilon, safe to throw into a compost pile
• Contains 16 tea bags